Sunday, December 1, 2013

We have to fail in order to succeed, right?

I have gone back and forth about writing this post. But, I think I have to talk about how I have been feeling. If you have been following my blog then you know that before I got pregnant with Everleigh, I had lost 85 pounds, was running and exercising regularly and I was most importantly, healthy. Then an unexpected pregnancy happened and after 2 years of healthy eating and hard work, I decided to enjoy my pregnancy. Isn't is always so easy to say we will not gain too much weight? But, I had been controlled for 2 years and let's face it, I have dieted my entire life, so I felt I "deserved" to eat how I wanted while pregnant. Problem was that the 2nd pregnancy was harder on my body than I anticipated and because of that, exercise got pushed to the side. So, I with every passing week, I gained. I gained more than needed. And while I didnt get quite as big as I did with Jayce, I did get within 15 pounds of that pregnancy.

What I was left with following Everleigh's delivery, is a body I despise. I was finally comfortable in my own skin. And now? Now my belly is stretched out and I swear it looks like I am wearing a deflated tire around my abdomen. None of my pants (even my fat pants) are even close to fitting. All of my shirts are too tight and too short thanks to my nursing boobs ( I don't hate the boobs, that is a necessary evil of giving my sweet girl the best nutrition). I still wear maternity pants as I only bought 2 pairs of jeans post partum. I refuse to buy more. And I refuse to go back into a dressing room right now. Just looking at my naked body in a mirror makes me cringe.

That being said, I am not an idiot. I know it takes time. I also know that I have to be proactive. So, I went back to Weight Watchers. I am working the program like it is supposed to be worked and I am seeing results. And I am beyond happy with that. So, I figured things were going well so maybe I could start exercising. Let me preface this by saying Everleigh's delivery did a number on my pelvis. (Her labor story is coming later this week!) For 3 weeks following her delivery, I could hardly get on and off of the couch because my pubic bone hurt so bad. I was near tears on more than one occasion and anything more than a short walk around my house would leave me in pain. Even though it still gets sore, I figured I could at least give working out a shot.

And what better way than to do the Turkey Trot 5k that I have completed the past 2 years? I planned on running it, despite not working out since having Everleigh. I went in with the plan to run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute ratio. Even untrained, that was doable. So, the night before the race, I went through my running gear in an effort to find something to wear. After several bags of clothes and being near tears, I finally found something. Too tight but doable.

On Thanksgiving, I laced up my running shoes. 8 weeks to the day since I had delivered my sweet girl. I knew it wouldn't be fast, but I was feeling somewhat confident. We lined up and off we went. Within 30 seconds, I realized my pelvis was sore. By a minute in, it hurt. By mile one, running even for short bursts was no longer an option. Even walking hurt. I did finish the race. But as I crossed the line, instead of being happy, I felt like a failure.

In 9 months, I failed my body. I let it get fat and unhealthy again. I couldn't help wonder if I had stayed active if maybe my pelvis would have healed faster. Maybe this is ridiculous to you. I mean, I KNOW I just had a baby. I know that having a child isn't easy on your body. But that doesn't change how I feel about myself. I let myself down. I let my body down and I reversed all of the good I had done for my body.

The worst part for me is knowing that in 12 weeks, I am scheduled to complete the Glass Slipper Challenge at Disney World. That is 6.2 miles on Saturday and 13.1 miles on Sunday. I can't even run for 2 minute increments without feeling as though I am splitting my pelvis in half. How can I possibly train for this event? So after feeling sorry for myself, I posted in my running group about my concerns. They validated my concerns, but let me know that I am still so early post partum that running just may not be feasible right now. And I know I am only 8 weeks post partum, but I guess I just assumed that was MORE than enough time. But, I assumed wrong. Very wrong.

After that, I decided to do some research to see how I could train. Training is so important, not only for my body but because Disney requires you to be under a 16 minute mile or they will "sweep" you off of the course for being too slow. Which is a fear of mine. Always has been. After a lot of thinking and research, I made a decision. And since I believe in putting things into the universe, I am going to share it with you.

I am going to train with Hal Higdon's "Walk a Half Marathon" plan. It is a plan designed so that I can train to walk the entire race. That being said, it also allows me the opportunity to add jogging within the program when I am ready. I know I have to start slow, and this walking program is ideal for that. My hope is that after 4 weeks of training with the walking program, that I will be able to add in joggin increments enough so that I can hit and maintain a 15 minute mile for the entire half marathon which will in turn give me a cushion to keep me from being swept. All of that being said, I WILL give this training my all. I will NOT be ashamed that I am walking most of this half marathon. There is NO failure in completing 19.3 miles in 2 days. NONE. I will NOT get swept off of the course. And I WILL *try* to be easier on myself. Because I know I can "fix" all of this. Just have to shift my focus and make it happen. I do hope that you will continue to follow me on this journey <3

Until next time!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Starting over

Well, if you read my last blog many months ago, or if you know me on Facebook, then you know I delivered a healthy and beautiful baby girl, Everleigh Dayle DeLoof. Her labor and delivery story will be written soon :) But that is not what this blog is about.

As my pregnancy progressed, I watched my weight climb UP, UP, UP. As I got further along, I began to swell. I would swell from my ankles to my thighs. I could barely bend my knees. I swore I would never see 255 again like I did with Jayce. And I didn't. But I did see 244 pounds on the day I delivered Everleigh.

In the blur of becoming a mommy to a newborn along side of a toddler, I lost sight of that and survived the first weeks. And when I slowed down, well, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The wide hips, what appears to be a deflated tire around my waist, back fat, big giant nursing boobs. WOW. Now yes, I know I just had a baby 5 months ago. BLAH BLAH BLAH

Thing is, I had finally felt comfortable in my own skin after having Jayce, and now here I am again, uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in my own clothes, uncomfortable to be naked. Just uncomfortable. For the 5 weeks post partum, I ate like I was still pregnant. For many women, breastfeeding makes them drop weight, all the while, they eat whatever they way. Uh, that girl is not me. Know what breastfeeding does to me? Makes me HUNGRY. I EAT. I eat often and I eat junk. So, as I see my scale slowly decrease for the first 3 weeks, I think, "maybe this time breastfeeding will help me lose weight." Then the scale stops moving, and I know I have to be pro-active and take control again.

That being said, I decided to head back to Weight Watchers. Well, because let's face it, it works! I found a friend who was willing to do meetings with me so we could be accountable. I loaded up my kiddos this morning and I headed to the meeting. I stepped on the scale, and here it is. My starting weight: 228.

Ouch. But, now I have put it out there for the world to see. This week I will also take starting photos and measurements so that I can continue to share my progress. I will also bring back Foodie Friday amd share some of my favorite recipes with you! And in one short week, I will begin training for the Disney Glass Slipper Challenge which is in February. It is a 10k on Saturday and half marathon on Sunday. This will undoubtedly be the biggest challenge of my running career as my training time is limited and I haven't ran since February. So, I hope you are ready to follow my progress with that as well! I am looking forward to sharing it all with you :)

Until next time!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Pregnancy and this former fat girl!

I have gone back and forth over the past 2 months, about what to blog about while I am pregnant. And today, as I was in the dressing room of Motherhood, trying on dresses, it hit me.

Pregnancy is an AMAZING thing that our bodies do. But sometimes what it DOES to us is not as attractive. You can read every pregnancy book under the sun, and it will tell you how much you should gain in your first, second and third trimester. Nothing makes a woman feel worse about herself than when she gains more.

If you are a follower of my blog, and know my struggles, then you know I am pretty disciplined. I work hard to achieve a goal, I work harder to maintain it. And when I found out I was pregnant, I immediately came up with a plan of action. One that involved how often I was going to workout, and how I was going to eat.

And then....pregnancy hit me. I ate to keep from getting sick, I was so tired I napped daily while my toddler napped, and I could barely function. I ate junk because quite frankly it was the only thing that appealed to me.

4-5 pounds in the first trimester? I gained more like 12. Yep I said it. Do you know what 12 pounds did to my body? 2 cup sizes, I hate my arms and my hips are already wider. I feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel fat, not pregnant. I spend my day tugging at my sleeves because my arms feel so incredibly fat that I can't stand it.

Now maybe I am not HUGE yet, but let me tell you, when you take a girl who JUST started feeling a LITTLE comfortable in her own skin and pack on 12 pounds in a matter of 13 weeks, it is HARD. I nearly cried in the dressing room today looking at my changing body. Please, don't get me wrong I love my little belly. And I LOVE growing our beautiful little jelly bean. But, I have struggled with my body my entire life. I see cute pregnant girls all over who only have a belly. I am not nor do I ever anticipate being that girl. I swell, I gain weight all over, and I do not feel cute in anyway.

Tomorrow I hit the 2nd trimester. And I keep telling myself, I will be fine. I won't gain too much weight. BUT, I want to be honest here. When you have spent your entire life worrying about your weight, you spend A LOT of time restricting everything you eat. You eat diet foods, and you drink diet sodas and consume artificial sweeteners.

I have done ALL of that for YEARS. And when I am pregnant, I do not consume diet foods and I completely drop artificial sweeteners (which is the hardest thing for me to do. I have a serious addiction to them) and when I do this, it is literally CRAZY easy to gain 5-10 pounds in just 2-3 weeks. Think about the MASSIVE adjustment my body makes when I shock it like that. So honestly, the gain I have seen SHOULD level off.

But that leaves me with...what it it doesn't? What if I gain too much? What defines too much?

Right now, I don't have those answers, what I DO have is this. Pregnancy is 9 months of your life, maybe it is not a free for all, but when this baby is out, I won't be eating cheesefries again, and I will be restrictive of my diet and 6 weeks post baby, I go into training for a half marathon in only 12 weeks. So what I will say is this, I don't want to gain a ridiculous amount of weight, BUT I also will not restrict myself. There is plenty of time for restriction and discipline post baby :)

So from now until October, I guess you will get to hear about my pregnancy struggles, and all of the SUPER exciting things I will be experiencing over the next couple of months <3

Until next time!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

It WILL change your life!

I think that I am upfront with everyone. I mean, after all, I shared my delivery story with my friends and readers. One that I poured my heart and soul into. One of the hardest things I have ever written. Something I haven't told you about is what my life was like the months following my delivery. Not the months of raising a baby. The months where I struggled to get out of bed, the months I struggled being me.

When Jayce was 3 months old, I went to my doctor and said, " I am tired all of the time." And I was. Around 1pm or so every afternoon, I would get so tired that I couldn't function. I would turn pale and irritable. Just exhausted.

My doctor told me that it was completely normal to feel that tired, I had a newborn after all. Jayce was my first baby and we were exclusively nursing, so her reasoning seemed logical to me.

When Jayce, was 9 months old, I went back to the doctor, and I said, "I'm tired all of the time. I don't feel like myself." And she told me I was depressed, and prescribed me an anti-depressant. I took it for a week. But deep down I knew that I wasn't depressed. What I was feeling was exhaustion, like I couldn't function. I was not depressed. So, I went on feeling "out of it."

Then Jayce turned 13 months and I went back to the doctor, and I told her that I was still tired. She told me that I had just quit nursing and that it would take time for my hormones to adjust. If you have ever nursed, you know this to be true. So, yes I accepted the answer.

Finally, when Jayce was 15 months old, I went back to the doctor. This time I was in tears as I said, "I am just so tired all of the time. I can't function. Something is wrong with me."

I should also mention that at this point I was also suffering from 2 ocular migraines a week. I would go blind in one eye twice a week.

At this point, my doctor decided to do some bloodwork. The results came in, and they were normal. Anyone who has had bloodwork knows that the range of "normal" is so broad that what could be normal for you one person, may be severely deficient for another. My doctor told me, "Everything is normal, but I can prescribe you something."


This is why I tell my friends and clients to take control of your healthcare. Be your own advocate. Our formulating doctor says, "Doctors are in charge of your disease for a short time, you are in charge of your health for LIFE"

Anyway, I declined my doctors offer for medications. A few months later, I was introduced to It Works! I started on the multivitamin, It's Vital and the superfood supplement the Greens. The combination of these two products make them the foundation of health. They pack a heavy punch of every nutrient your body could potentially need. I have never been much of a vitamin person, or even an all natural person. But when I heard about the energy and detox aspect of the Greens, I was sold.

I noticed the boost in energy immediately. I could function again. Within weeks, my migraines started subsiding. Within a few month, my once super painful periods caused by years of damage from endometriosis, became bearable. I have been on the Greens and It's Vital for 8 month, and in that time, my energy is on point, my periods come and go without ANY pain, and most importantly, I have had 4 migraines since May.

As it turns out, the most important nutrient your body needs is the one you are missing. To pinpoint an exact nutrient would require a lot of expensive testing, something as simple as good supplementation could quite LITERALLY change your life.

Want to know all of the amazing things that are in the Greens? Check out this link:

Our vitamins are top of the line, they are made of whole foods, and are quick dissolve.

Feel free to check out my website if you should have any questions. Feel free to message me, I would love to help you with a private consult :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

What a year!

2012.2013. I guess it is hard to believe a year has passed.  This was a year of ups and downs, mostly ups. The downs almost ruined me. But I overcame.

When 2012 started, we were celebrating my baby boy's 1st birthday. We celebrated an amazing first year. I am beyond blessed to have that little boy as my own. I hate that he grows so fast.

On the brink, of the new year, I was celebrating a big promotions with Pure Romance. I reached top level in the company in January 2012. Hard to believe I would be celebrating a year at the top. In January, 2012 the world of PR was mine for the taking. I had no idea the things that were in store for me.

As 2012 progressed, opportunities were presented. I was introduced to the world of It Works Global. After trying the products I knew that they were going to change my life. My husband and I took a leap of faith and joined the ride! Things got far more complicated than I could have ever imagined. When we joined It Works, we joined to help my family get out of debt. That was my only motive. I joined with the intention of possibly making an extra $1000 a month to change our situation. What ended up happening was something I could have NEVER imagined. I fell in love with the products and the company. I built a team of rockstars, and my check far exceeded my goal in only a couple of months.

As my success grew, policies changed with Pure Romance, and I had to make a decision. I had to dissolve the It Works business that I had built for my husband. Or dissolve my team with Pure Romance and allow them to roll up to my sponsor. This was a tough decision. One I cried over. One I lost sleep over. One that my husband and I hashed out over several days. This was not a decision I took lightly. At the end of the day, I went with my gut. I walked away from a team that was on track to be a million dollar team with Pure Romance. Our family took a financial hit that we were able to overcome thanks to my It Works Income.

This post is not to dwell on what I lost. In 2012, I was tested. I am happy with the way things have turned out. I enjoyed my time in the romance industry. But as I grew, I realized that it was not where I was meant to be. Things happened for a reason. And my reason, my purpose is with It Works Global. I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Through the midst of business changes, came the whirlwind of a life that I love. The life of being Jayce's mommy <3 I spend my days being present in my little guys life. I own my own time....well Jayce owns it :)

So as I reflect on the changes I have made over the past year, it all leads me to here. This moment....staring at my laptop thinking about my goals this year. I don't make resolutions. I make goals. Resolutions fall by the wayside within a month or 2. Goals are with me all year long.

So here they are. I am putting them into cyber space for your reading pleasure! :)

*Reach my goal SIZE of a size 10
*Complete another half marathon
*Debt Free by Steve's birthday (August 31)
*Be IN a bigger house by January 2014
*Advance to Double Diamond
*Start journaling. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it s more a business thing :)
*Focus on helping my team succeed
*Complete one business book a month

I have some big goals and and a whole year to work on them!!

Until next time :)